


How Many Nights

by idra



Series: 28 Days of Love [27]
Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Protective Jensen Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:01:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23413483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idra/pseuds/idra
Summary: Two weeks after Carlos has returned from the dead, Jake packs a bag.  He leaves a note for Pooch and Jolene, only saying that he can't do this.  He really thought he could go back to the way things were before, loving Carlos and having Carlos back in his life, but there was too much trauma.  He couldn't look at Carlos and just forget the way he'd felt when he thought Carlos was dead.Where Jake can't deal and runs away to his family, who help him come up with a plan to maybe make things better.
Relationships: Carlos "Cougar" Alvarez/Jake Jensen
Series: 28 Days of Love [27]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/936522
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	How Many Nights

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to [On the Grey](http://archiveofourown.org/works/23362285). As much as I liked On the Grey, I just felt like that couldn't be all there was to it. So I started writing a sequel and it got a little angstier than I thought it would. I'm still not happy with how it ended really, but that could be fixed with another part. Maybe in my 31 days of October series. Probably there. 
> 
> Prompt was Infinity and I got the title from the song by One Direction. which I don't even really like 1D but it's a good song

Two weeks after Carlos has returned from the dead, Jake packs a bag. He leaves a note for Pooch and Jolene, only saying that he can't do this. He really thought he could go back to the way things were before, loving Carlos and having Carlos back in his life, but there was too much trauma. He couldn't look at Carlos and just forget the way he'd felt when he thought Carlos was dead.

He hits the road, his intention to just keep going east. When he gets to the turn off where he knows his sister has been living, he changes his mind on leaving Montana and takes the exit. He pulls up in front of the house he'd bought her and stumbles out of his car, going straight to the door and pounding on it. When she answers, he falls into her arms, sobbing and clinging like his life depends on it. 

Jake pulls away from his sister after he cries himself out, wiping at his face. "I'm sorry, sis. I know you didn't expect to see me this soon and I know you didn't expect to have me burst into tears the second you opened your door." 

"It's okay, little brother," Jess says, as she brushes her hand over his hair. "Now, will you tell me what made you cry like that?" 

"Cougar..." 

"Oh Jake, honey. I know you miss him, but he wouldn't want you to keep mourning." 

"No. He's alive. He made it out. He's back and he's giving me roses and..." Jake shakes his head, sniffling and wiping at his eyes. "I want to just fall into his arms and have everything be okay, but I can't. It's been over two years, and I was finally to the point where I could think about him... about them and not fall completely apart." He inhales, hating how shaky it sounds. "He keeps bringing me roses and I..." 

"Oh, honey." Jess pulls him back into her arms and rubs his back as he falls apart again. She strokes his hair, letting him sob against her shoulder. "I guess what it comes down to is, do you want him back in your life the way he was?" 

"I don't know." Jake exhales loudly, closing his eyes. "He was my everything for so long and I just don't... I don't know if I can live without him now that I know he's alive, but I don't know if I can live with him either. Two years.... I know I made it next to impossible for anyone to find any of us. But two years of mourning, Jess. How can I just forget that?" 

"You don't." She pulls back and cups his face in her hands. "Stay here. Stay with me and Beth and..." She shakes her head. "Just for a little while. Give it a week, if you still feel like you need to forgive him, then you go back north and you sit him down and you tell him that you can't pick up where you left off but maybe, just maybe, you can start over." 

Jake nods, leaning back against her couch. "When is Beth home from school?" 

"Soon. Go up to your room and rest until she gets here. I will send her up to you."

He nods and pushes himself off the couch, walking up the stairs with heady steps. He sinks onto the bed in the guest room-- his room, technically, but the guest room when he's not here. He buries his face in the pillow, eyes closing.

What feels like seconds later, the bed dips next to him. "Jess?" 

"Why did you run?" 

Jake shoots up, rolling out of bed and onto his feet. His gun is in his hand and pointing at Carlos before he realizes what he's doing. "What the hell, Cougs?" 

"Why did you run from me?" 

"Maybe I'm not ready for you yet. Maybe I'm not ready for this yet, Cougs."

"But I love you. You're my all. You're the reason I survived." 

Jake shakes his head, finally lowering the gun. "I can't do this, Cougar. I need time. I need space. And I need you to go. Just... just go." He lets out a shaky breath, eyes closing. "Please, Carlos. Give me time." 

He feels hands gripping his hips and then he feels lips on his. "Anything for you, mi amor." 

Jake turns his head. "I'll call you when I'm ready to talk." 

"Si," Carlos murmurs, removing his hands from Jake's hips. "I love you, Jake." 

"I love you, too, but I can't do this." Jake sighs, moving away from Carlos. He moves to the window and stares down at the lawn. "I'm not ready to.... I'm just not ready." 

"Adios, mi amor," Carlos says. Jake hears the door open and close and he sinks down to the floor, burying his face in his hands.

It's only a few minutes when he hears the front door open up. He hears his sister talking to someone, then a shriek and he can't help but smile a little. Seconds later, his door is shoved open and Beth is yelling his name and throwing herself into his arms. He holds her close, kissing the side of her head. "Hi baby girl." 

"Uncle Jake! Oh my gosh! When did you get here? Why are you here? Can you come to my soccer game tomorrow? Are you staying long? Oh my gosh!" 

Jake can't help but chuckle, pulling back and sniffing back what was left of his chairs. "I just got here this afternoon. I... I will absolutely go to your soccer game. I'm staying for a while." He has to skip over the why he's there. If he says anything, he knows Beth will want to see Carlos. He was her Tio Cougar and she'd mourned him too. But he cannot have Carlos around right now. 

She cups his face in her hands and scowls. "Who hurt you? I will find them and punch them in the balls." 

Laughing harder, Jake shakes his head. "You are too much like your mom, kiddo." He wipes at his face. "Can you just accept, for now, that I need to be here with you and your mom? I'm... I'm running from someone, but not someone who will hurt you or your mom. But they could hurt me, not physically, but..." 

She tilts her head and drops her hands. "Tio Cougar isn't dead, is he? He came back?" 

"I... How..." Jake raises an eyebrow.

"There are roses downstairs. Like two dozen. All but one are white. Mom _hates_ roses. She doesn't let them in the house, 'cause it reminds her of Tio. So, if they're here, and you're here.... That means, Tio is alive." She scowls. "What? He just expects us to let him back into our lives?? He... He let us think he was dead!! Two years, he let us think he was dead." 

"Bethie, baby, he couldn't find us." Jake sniffles, chuckling when he realizes that as much as Beth is definitely his sister's daughter, she's also his blood. She's far too smart for her own good. "He didn't mean to let us think he was dead for two years." 

"I don't care. He can't come into my house. Mom!" she yells. She turns at a noise in the doorway. "Tio is _not_ allowed here. He cannot come into the house until Uncle Jake is better." Beth sits on Jake's lap and cuddles up to him. Jake wraps his arms around her waist, laying his head on her shoulder. She's probably too old for this, but Jake loves having her close.

Jess comes into the room and sits by Jake's side, wrapping an arm around Jake's shoulders. "I agree, Beth. Until Jake is okay with him being around us again, he's not allowed in our house. However, he may come to your soccer games and he may try to catch Jake outside of the house. And he may try to talk to you outside of the house. You are not allowed to hit him, but you can tell him off." Jess smiles at Jake as she says this. "That goes for both of you."

"Can I get him in trouble if he tries to talk to me or Uncle Jake if I'm with Uncle Jake?" 

"How do you mean?" Jake asks, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Like yelling Stranger Danger?" Beth smiles up at Jake. 

"No, because you cannot get a man who is supposed to be dead arrested. That would blow not only Carlos' cover, but Jake's and Pooch's and ours and Jolene's lives in jeopardy. Do you want to have to move again?" Jess rolls her eyes. 

Beth pouts, slumping against Jake. "No. I like it here."

"Then no getting him arrested by acting like he's trying to kidnap you." 

"Okay. Fine. But I reserve the right to yell at him for hurting Uncle Jake." 

"That you're allowed to do," Jake says before Jess can say anything. "But not too loud and do not attract attention from any type of authority figures." 

Beth nods, hugging Jake. "I understand if you want to take him back, Uncle Jake. You love him. You never stopped and I know you would never forgive yourself if you didn't take him back, but at least make him suffer a little." 

"You've got to stop hanging out with your mom so much, Bethie. You are scary." Jake kisses her temple, holding her close. He smiles over at his sister. "I love you two. And you're right, I will probably forgive him eventually. But, if you guys will let me, I kind of want to stay here for a while. A few months at least."

Beth gives a little squeal and hugs him tighter. "You can stay forever!" 

Jess giggles a little. "You can stay a few months. Maybe... Maybe you should convince Pooch and Jolene to bring Pup down here? And we can find Carlos a place somewhere in Billings." 

"But far away from us. At least for now," Beth adds. 

Jake chuckles and leans back against the wall. "Billings is probably big enough to get lost in..." He looks at his sister, then at his niece. "How would you guys feel about me buying a few places?" 

"Doing renovations? Like you did to our place?" Jess rubs his shoulder.

"Yeah, I really liked doing that. And computers are great and all, but... Brady is so small. And there's not enough work to keep me busy. I know Pooch is kind of floundering too."

"And you both like physical work." Jess smiles. "I'll talk to the other real estate agents at work and see what we can find for you."

Jake leans over, resting his head on her shoulder. "I love you guys. The reason I'd asked was because the money is in all three of our names, so I can't really just take out a bunch of money and use it without your approvals." 

Beth curls up against his chest. "Can I help?" 

"Of course. No power tools. But yeah. You can help me," Jake says. "It could be a family project?" 

Jess laughs and squeezes both of them. "Of course. That sounds awesome," she adds. 

All he can do to that is smile. Tomorrow, he'll call Pooch and talk him and Jolene into coming to Billings. They can sit down as a family and figure out the smaller details. And he can talk to Jolene about how he's feeling about Cougar. Maybe a semi-outsider (not that he thinks Jolene is an outsider by any stretch, but she's not his sister and niece) can tell him if he's overreacting or if he's just lost his mind. 

He closes his eyes, letting out a sigh. Beth curls closer and he wraps his arm around her waist, shifting to rest his head on hers. He feels Jess move closer, wrapping her arms around both of them and he feels like maybe it will all be okay. He knows as long as he has his girls, everything will alright. Even if his heart feels like it will break for infinity, he'll be okay.


End file.
